An Up-turned Tart Named Tatin

What a state the place is in, there hasn’t been this much fun since the flushing toilet was let loose. Champagne corks are flying and flutes are over flowing with the icy, bubbly nectar. The night is long gone and the spot is filled with bodies, tousled hair styles and skins slick with sweat. The year is 1898 and the location is France and a momentous occasion is being toasted. Firstly the Tatin Sisters’ warty ogre of a father with his stinking breath has just passed, bless his miserable soul. But more importantly the Sisters have inherited the family hotel and restaurant.

5 Big Granny Smith Apples • 62g Butter • 125g Sugar • 2ml Cinnamon • 200g Ready-to-roll Puff Pastry • Crème Fraîche

The Sisters have been dealt a good hand and the time has come to show the culinary world, which is France really, that women can also be artists in the kitchen. Gone are the days of slaving over the gruel pot. A Michelin Star or three would look impressive on the walls of the old hotel and restaurant yet.

But alas an order of nine and a half apple pies has just come into the kitchen. In a dizzy, drunken state a dozen green apples are peeled, cored and carefully chopped into bit sized chunks.

• Preheat the oven to 220 ̊ C • Peel, core and chop apples into bite size chunks • Place in water to prevent browning

Into nine and a half wonky, cast iron frying pans the temptations of Eve are fried with freshly churned butter and a delicate pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg. The recipe is going according to plan when suddenly the kitchen ragamuffin clumsily knocks a bag of sugar into one of the nine and a half pans with his broom stick. With guilt written all over his face and fear of being thrown into a boiling stock pot, he runs away, never to be seen again. Meanwhile the pommes, spices and sugar are creating an extraordinary chemistry in the depths of the iron pan. The sugar is gradually changing colour. It is bubbling slowly with the intense spices, creating a dark amber coloured stickiness which clings to the slightly crunchy, tart apples. 

• In a 25cm ovenproof pan, melt the butter and sugar together on a medium heat, stirring constantly • When it reaches a caramel colour remove it from the heat and carefully pack the drained apples into the pan

The Tatin Sister’s heart throb, the famous chef Escoffier, with his penetrating blue eyes, pencil thin moustache and muscle strained chef whites, has crowned this process of burning sugar, Caramelisation.

In the pastry corner of the heated kitchen a rather hairy women is grunting and moaning as she rolls and folds a massive block of butter into a slab of rich puff pastry. True perfection and the hopes of a promotion will be a pastry that has millions of layers, which when baked evolves into a crispy, buttery, flaky heaven.

Back at the burning stove top, baffled the Tatin Sisters stare at the caramelised apple pan. For the last hour they have been trying to transfer the lovely stickiness into the prepare pie dish. With the final straw pulled, a decision is made to put a round of puff pastry on top of the apples and syrup. A little prayer is said, hoping that the fiery oven with reveal a miracle. With the deadline looming, eight and a half perfect apple pies and the caramelised concoction are taken out of the oven. The puff pastry has lived up to its name and has puffed up a wonderful pastry pillow. But a question lurks. What lies beneath the light and crispy? Cremated apples or a culinary first in the eyes of Mon Bombom Escoffier?

• Roll out the puff pastry and using a knife, cut a round ‘lid’ to fit the pan • Place the pastry on the already prepared pan and tuck it in around the edges • Prick holes with a knife and bake for 25 – 30 minutes • Allow to cool slightly

Unexpectedly, Caroline the older of the Sisters and naturally the most responsible, trips on her lacy petticoat and falls to the ground. The iron pan flies into the air and splats on the floor. The five second rule alive and well in 1898, the pastry is scooped up onto a plate with great speed. What emerges from the mess is a pastry base with golden brown chunks of apple drenched in a dark, rich, syrupy sauce. The air is filled with caramel and fudgy aromas. With demanding taste buds a vat of crème fraîche is called for. Absolute silence fills the kitchen as spoonfuls of the apple-caramel invention are chewed. Sweet, tart, slightly salty and cooling flavours mingle with crispy and crunchy textures. Sinful thoughts of lust and decadence come to mind. Every last crumb, crème smear and syrup trail is lapped up.

• To remove, place a plate on the pan and invert the pan, so the pastry is on the bottom and the apples and syrup are on top • Serve with a dollop of crème fraîche • Serves 6 or 4 Gluttons

Before everything is forgotten, a technique is quickly jotted down in the ancient restaurant recipe book. Neatly written on a stained page is the description: “An apple tart, cooked under a lid of pastry, but served with the pastry underneath and the fruit on top” and on the top of the page two words are scribbled:”Tarte Tatin”.